i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
