Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
there is puke in my bra ... again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
