and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
