she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
