Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
