Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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