Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Green mimosas i think yes
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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