the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize