wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I supernannyed him into submission
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
