My first STD was from a foam party
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
