I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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