This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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