Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
