He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
