no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
