so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
