you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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