the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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