Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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