worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
