I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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