Who did Billy Mays play for?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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