was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this will be a night to untag.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
