You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
