Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.