my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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