I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize