u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I skipped work to stalk him.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Randomize
