I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.