Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.

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(847): View more from Illinois

hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??

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(618): View more from Illinois

we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning

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(928): View more from Arizona

On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(440): View more from Ohio

My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.

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(845): View more from New York

Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP

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(703): View more from Virginia

Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.

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