I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
