She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
