i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
