woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
operation have a gay friend backfired
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Found the puke drawer
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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