my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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