So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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