do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He passed out mid-signature
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
And then my night got REAL pukey
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
