Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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