Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
