their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
