This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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