alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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