My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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