Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
