Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
