Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
