They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
