If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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