Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
3 2 1 whiskey
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
