shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
