Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
