are you still at the devil's house?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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