you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
