yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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