i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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