Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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