I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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