thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
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She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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