woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
