so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
