you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
