stop calling my apartment porn island.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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