Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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